“Zero Regrets”: Chimamanda Adichie Speaks Candidly About Surrogacy, Motherhood, and Societal Pressure [VIDEO]

 

Renowned Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has publicly addressed her decision to welcome twin sons via surrogacy, using her platform to challenge the persistent stigma surrounding fertility issues and non-traditional paths to motherhood.

During a candid conversation at the #WithChude Live talk hosted by media entrepreneur Chude Jideonwo, the award-winning writer shared her journey to becoming a mother to twin boys in 2024, while confronting the societal pressures and judgement that women often face around reproductive choices.

Public discourse erupted earlier this year after news broke that the 47-year-old had welcomed children. Rumors quickly spiraled, with many speculating about how she gave birth at her age. Rather than allow misinformation to take root, Adichie chose transparency.

“You cannot hide the existence of two perfect human beings,” she stated, reflecting on the immediate curiosity and commentary that followed. “People just went off with this thing, ‘She’s 47, she’s had babies,’ and I don’t like to lie about things that can be consequential for other people.”

The acclaimed Half of a Yellow Sun author said that her decision to be open was driven by a desire to shield other women from unfair comparisons and impossible expectations. She highlighted the danger in allowing others to assume she naturally conceived and carried twins at nearly 50 — a narrative that could pressure women facing fertility struggles into self-blame or silence.

“One viewer said to me that I looked so fantastic for someone who just had babies, and I’m not going to say, ‘oh, thank you,’ because that’s a lie,” she explained. “So I said, ‘Well, they were born by a surrogate,’ and apparently, I hear that there was a bit of noise about that.”

Despite the personal nature of the topic, Adichie emphasized her discomfort at the politicization of her children’s birth. “My boys are so precious to me, and I hated that anything about them would become politicised,” she said. “So on the one hand, I wished I hadn’t talked about it, but on the other hand, there is no way I am going to lie and claim that I have babies that I didn’t birth myself.”

She used the moment to shine a light on a broader issue: the deeply ingrained shame many women carry over fertility challenges. Drawing from both personal experience and empathy, she condemned the culture of silence that surrounds conditions like fibroids and infertility.

“There is so much shame around issues of fertility,” Adichie said passionately. “Women are ashamed when they have fibroids, women are ashamed when they have trouble getting pregnant, and I don’t believe in that sort of shame.”

Critics of surrogacy have argued that the process can be exploitative and dehumanising, but Adichie believes the ethical execution of surrogacy lies in how it is done, not the concept itself. She acknowledged the nuance in the debate but pointed out the double standards often applied.

“They think that you cannot rent a woman’s body, they argue that it’s dehumanising,” she said. “I think it can be, but I think it matters how it’s done. It can be done ethically.”

She also addressed the contradiction in feminist arguments around bodily autonomy. “The same people will say that a woman can do whatever she wants with her body. There’s a contradiction there… that was what all the noise was all about.”

Regardless of public reaction, the celebrated author expressed unwavering joy and gratitude for her new role as a mother of three. With a nine-year-old daughter already part of her family, Adichie said her twin boys have added immeasurable love and meaning to her life.

“I think my daughter and my babies are the greatest gifts I’ve been given,” she said. “So, zero regrets.”

Her openness stands as a powerful counterpoint to a culture that often encourages women to hide non-traditional paths to parenthood. She lamented how women who adopt or choose surrogacy often feel the need to disappear for months to avoid scrutiny or gossip.

“There are other women who have babies by surrogates but they sort of go and hide for nine months, or people who adopt babies and they go and hide because our society is so judgemental,” she observed. “And I don’t think that that is good for anybody.”

Throughout the conversation, Adichie reaffirmed her commitment not only to honesty but also to parenting with purpose. She spoke of her intention to raise her children, particularly her sons, with a deep respect for women and a commitment to gender equality — values that mirror her broader advocacy for feminism and social justice.

For a writer whose words have resonated globally, Adichie’s willingness to speak vulnerably about her personal life is yet another act of courage — one that may encourage other women to shed shame, embrace alternative paths to motherhood, and speak their truths unapologetically. 

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