Why Women Should Not Follow Toke Makinwa’s Path: Lessons from Nigeria’s Reality

 

Why Women Should Not Follow Toke Makinwa’s Path: Lessons from Nigeria’s Reality

In today’s fast-changing world, personal choices about marriage and family are becoming more individualistic. However, while freedom and self-discovery are important, making choices that isolate one from key aspects of life—such as marriage and family—can have long-term consequences. Toke Makinwa, a Nigerian media personality, recently stated that if she had remarried, she would have likely been divorced again because "the lessons never stop." While her perspective reflects personal experiences, young Nigerian women should take a broader view before adopting such a stance.

Here’s why:

1. The Reality of Aging Alone

Nigeria is a communal society where family plays a crucial role in emotional and financial support. While being single may seem liberating in one's 30s and 40s, the reality of aging alone can be daunting. Many older people in Nigeria rely on their children or spouse for care and companionship. Without a strong family unit, one risks loneliness and a lack of social support in later years.

2. Marriage as a Support System

Beyond love, marriage offers a partnership that helps individuals navigate life’s struggles. In a country like Nigeria, where the economy is unpredictable, having a supportive spouse can provide financial and emotional stability. It is not about rushing into marriage but about making wise choices in a partner and learning from mistakes instead of giving up entirely.

3. The Cultural and Religious Perspective

Nigeria remains a deeply traditional and religious society, where marriage and family are highly valued. While personal happiness is key, completely rejecting the idea of marriage because of past failures can lead to unnecessary regrets. Instead of discouraging marriage, we should advocate for better partner selection, emotional intelligence, and conflict resolution skills.

4. The Risk of Regret

Many women who choose a life of independence in their youth often reconsider their choices later. While financial success and career growth are fulfilling, they do not necessarily replace the joy of having a loving family. By the time some realize they desire companionship, it might be too late to build one in a natural way.

5. Rethinking Divorce and Growth

Rather than seeing marriage as a cycle of failure, it should be viewed as a journey of growth. Mistakes in one marriage should serve as lessons for improvement in the next, rather than a reason to give up on the institution entirely. Growth is continuous in all aspects of life, and relationships are no exception.

Conclusion

Toke Makinwa’s perspective is valid for her personal journey, but young Nigerian women should take a more balanced approach. While independence and self-awareness are vital, they should not come at the cost of lifelong companionship and family. The key is to be intentional in choosing the right partner and developing the skills to sustain a healthy relationship. After all, life’s lessons never stop, whether single or married—it is how we respond to them that matters.

*Editorial's Note*