Nigerian Marriage Therapist Warns Men Against Taking Relationship Lessons From Social Media Influencers With No Experience

 

Chidi A. Okoroafor, a Nigerian marriage and family therapist, has raised serious concerns about the growing trend of men depending on social media influencers for guidance on how to treat women. He said he is deeply worried about the declining standards of manhood and accused many young men of misleading married men through shallow online advice.

The therapist expressed disappointment that some married men ignore their responsibilities and instead rely on untested opinions from younger men, often single, who have no real-life marital experience. He questioned why any responsible husband would choose to sit under the tutelage of a boy who is barely the age of his own sons.

Okoroafor drew attention to a popular online figure who has advised men not to provide financial support to any woman, not their girlfriend and not even their wives. For the therapist, such views are dangerous and contribute to the erosion of responsible manhood in Nigeria. He said this line of thinking ignores the deeper values that should guide relationships such as sacrifice, provision, and shared responsibility.

According to him, many men today have reduced their role in a relationship to nothing more than what their bodies can offer, while leaving out maturity, wisdom, and leadership. He noted that this unfortunate reality has caused many women to lose interest in marriage because too many men are failing to bring more to the table beyond physical intimacy.

Okoroafor shared his dismay that Nigerian society often measures a man solely by his wealth. He lamented that such focus on money has left character undeveloped, creating men who are empty in every sense. Some of them, he argued, do not even possess the money they boast about. This imbalance, he warned, is one of the major causes of frustration in marriages.

During his recent trip to Warri, Delta State, Okoroafor said he visited major markets such as Ogbe Ijaw, Igbudu, Polokor, and Effurun, where he observed women working tirelessly in trade and enterprise. He explained that these markets are almost entirely run by women who are carrying the weight of economic activity. Meanwhile, men, he observed, fill up betting shops, football viewing centres, and beer parlours, giving the impression that their contribution to society is shrinking while women are taking on heavier responsibilities.

The therapist did not shy away from criticizing men who have abandoned their children and left wives to struggle alone. He highlighted the irony that some of these very men, who cannot provide for their households, are the loudest voices online endorsing questionable ideologies under what he mockingly described as “Gehgeh university.” He dismissed such platforms as distractions designed to weaken already fragile values.

His words were particularly pointed when he cautioned single women. He advised them to be deliberate about the kind of men they allow into their lives, stressing the importance of not “marrying down.” He said it would be a tragedy for a hardworking woman who has built a career, a business, or a skill to settle with a man who has no direction in life and is guided by confused social media influencers.

Okoroafor emphasized that such relationships quickly become examples of the blind leading the blind, where neither party grows, and the woman ends up frustrated by the man’s lack of vision. He urged women to maintain their standards and avoid making choices that undo their years of effort and personal development.

While dismissing the so-called Gehgeh university and other similar platforms, he also reassured his followers that he has no interest in wasting energy debating with such movements. He thanked God that his biological sons are not influenced by these voices online. According to him, his family is focused on studying successful and disciplined figures like Alex Hormozi and his wife, individuals who model ambition, partnership, and prosperity rather than irresponsibility.

The therapist closed his remarks by reaffirming his conviction that Nigeria is currently facing a crisis of manhood. For him, this crisis is driven by laziness, irresponsibility, and misplaced priorities among young men who would rather gamble and argue online than build character and contribute meaningfully to family life.

Okoroafor’s critique is a reminder of the influence social media holds over young men and how easily it can shape behaviors and attitudes if left unchecked. His voice joins the growing number of Nigerians who are calling for a revival of values such as respect, responsibility, and hard work in order to restore the integrity of families and relationships.