“My Husband Still Beats Me And That Is Okay”: Woman’s Shocking Defense of Spousal Abuse Triggers Backlash

 

 

A social media comment from South African woman Cherre Kambatta has ignited widespread backlash across the African digital sphere after she openly condoned domestic violence and argued that men have a right to beat their wives under certain conditions.

On Wednesday, April 30, 2025, Kambatta posted a controversial response on Facebook, reacting to an ongoing conversation about a Nigerian domestic violence case that had begun trending earlier in the week. Her statement has since gone viral, drawing sharp criticism from gender rights activists, civil society organizations, and ordinary social media users alike.

Kambatta's words, which many have described as disturbing and regressive, struck a nerve in an era where intimate partner violence remains a major issue across Africa. "A woman who didn't receive home training from her papa should allow her husband to discipline her," she wrote. "My husband still disciplines me at this my age too. Men beating their wives is nothing bad."

Her comment was made in reply to a Facebook post by a Nigerian woman who had raised concerns about a domestic abuse case reportedly involving her neighbor. The post, which detailed a pattern of escalating violence in a young couple’s home, sparked discussions around the legal and cultural dimensions of spousal abuse. However, Kambatta’s perspective quickly became a focal point of debate.

Rather than expressing concern or sympathy for the victim, Kambatta suggested that male authority in a household must be upheld — even through physical force, if necessary. Her use of the word “discipline” in reference to spousal beating drew particular attention, with many questioning the societal roots of such beliefs.

Women's rights groups have wasted no time condemning the statement, warning that comments like Kambatta's are not only harmful but dangerous, especially when made so publicly.

Phumzile Dlamini, spokesperson for WomenRise SA, labeled Kambatta’s view “deeply alarming” and said it reflects the urgent need for broader educational initiatives around gender-based violence. “This type of normalization of abuse contributes to the culture of silence and suffering. When women are taught to accept beatings as a form of love or correction, we fail them on every level — emotionally, psychologically, and systemically,” Dlamini said during an online press briefing.

Legal professionals have also weighed in, clarifying that under South African law — and in most African jurisdictions — domestic violence is a criminal offense, irrespective of any cultural or traditional justifications offered by individuals or communities.

Social media platforms have become a battleground for these discussions, with users from South Africa, Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, and beyond voicing their disapproval. Hashtags such as #DisciplineIsNotLove, #EndGBV, and #CherreKambatta trended for hours, with many users demanding accountability and urging platforms like Facebook to remove content that encourages violence against women.

Despite the backlash, some voices expressed sympathy for Kambatta, suggesting that her mindset may be a product of lifelong exposure to patriarchal systems and normalized abuse. “Sometimes people defend the very systems that oppress them, simply because they’ve been taught to see them as natural,” tweeted Nigerian psychologist Tunde Aluko.

Sociologists observing the exchange say it underscores the complex interplay between culture, power, and gender roles in African societies. For many women, submission to male authority is taught from childhood, often cloaked in religious or moral rhetoric. That normalization can manifest in adult relationships, where abuse is tolerated or even expected under the guise of “discipline.”

Calls are now growing for interventions that go beyond punishment or social media outrage. Advocacy groups want governments to invest in comprehensive educational programs that challenge gender stereotypes, foster mutual respect in marriages, and emphasize nonviolent conflict resolution.

Further complicating the issue is the perception of discipline within certain communities, where some forms of control — even physical — are framed as necessary tools for maintaining family order. Experts say this dangerous interpretation not only enables abusers but leaves victims questioning whether they deserve mistreatment.

“I was once like her,” commented a survivor of domestic violence on a trending thread. “I believed my husband’s beatings were my fault — that I was disrespectful or needed correction. It took years to unlearn that.”

Cherre Kambatta has not issued any further clarification or retraction as of this writing. Her Facebook page remains active, and her original comment has not been deleted. Meanwhile, petitions demanding accountability and outreach programs to address internalized abuse are gathering momentum.

This incident serves as a sobering reminder that the fight against gender-based violence must tackle not just laws and enforcement, but also deeply rooted cultural attitudes. Until women and men alike are educated about the dynamics of healthy, respectful partnerships, statements like Kambatta’s may continue to find space in the public discourse — often to the detriment of those suffering in silence.