Nigeria’s Social Media in Uproar as Man Advocates ‘Grooming’ Young Women for Marriage

 

Lagos, Nigeria – A Twitter post from a user identified as @Ne0_0fficiall has sparked widespread backlash and debate across Nigeria’s online community, after he publicly detailed his intention to marry a girl who is set to turn 18 in July—citing her inexperience, strict upbringing, and family background as major “green flags.”

In the now-viral post, the 35-year-old user paints a picture of what he deems the “ideal woman”: young, untouched by past relationships, emotionally bonded to her father and brother, and—perhaps most controversially—malleable enough to be “groomed” into the kind of partner he desires.

“She is so fond of her dad and brother,” the post reads. “Most importantly, her Dad is a landlord in Lagos and owns his own duplex in the village as well, so you just know this one was not raised in severe lack and actually has love to give.”

What followed was a resounding wave of online outrage, as many Twitter users questioned the ethical, psychological, and even legal undertones of such a union. Critics point to a pattern of manipulation veiled under the language of courtship, especially in the user’s closing advice to other men: “Find a young and innocent one and groom her into the woman you want her to be… Leave trash for LAWMA.”

The Grooming Debate

The concept of “grooming,” a term often associated with predatory behavior, has become the central focus of the controversy. While the subject of the man’s interest is technically approaching adulthood, critics argue that the intent behind seeking someone “innocent” and “untouched” reveals a desire for control rather than companionship.

Legal experts weighed in, emphasizing that although the age of consent in Nigeria ranges from 16 to 18 depending on the region, legality doesn’t equate to morality.

“Just because she will be of legal age doesn't mean it is ethical,” said human rights lawyer Amaka Ijeoma. “There’s an inherent power imbalance when a significantly older man seeks out a younger, more impressionable partner with the intent of molding her into his ideal. That’s not love, it’s control.”

Supporters and Detractors

Not everyone shared the same outrage. A minority of users applauded the man for being “honest” about his preferences and argued that adult relationships should be judged on consent alone. They viewed the criticism as overly politically correct or as a Western import unsuited to Nigerian cultural dynamics.

But that didn’t stop the criticism from pouring in. Many female users expressed concern over how such narratives contribute to the ongoing objectification and infantilization of young women.

“Do you know how scary it is to be a young girl in this country?” asked @IfyWrites, a feminist blogger. “Men are not looking for partners—they’re looking for projects.”

Cultural and Moral Implications

The post has re-ignited long-standing discussions about gender, power, and relationships in Nigerian society. While age-gap relationships are not uncommon, the transparency of intent and language used—especially the mention of “grooming”—has cast this situation in a particularly troubling light.

Psychologists warn that such dynamics, especially when rooted in an imbalance of life experience and power, can be emotionally damaging for the younger party involved.

“Relationships should be about mutual growth and respect,” said Dr. Chijioke Eze, a clinical psychologist. “When one party enters with the mindset of molding the other, it ceases to be a partnership—it becomes an exercise in control.”

As the debate rages on, @Ne0_0fficiall has neither deleted his post nor issued any clarification, despite calls for accountability. The case continues to stir conversation about what modern relationships should look like—and who holds the power in shaping them. 

Follow the original X(Twitter) story here

By: Ugo Daniels
Staff Writer – Lagos Bureau