“Where Have the Gentlemen Gone?” Nigerian Woman Reflects on the Changing Face of Masculine Courtesy [VIDEO]

A Nigerian woman has stirred a wave of nostalgia and debate online after taking to social media to share her heartfelt concerns over what she describes as a visible decline in the kindness and gentlemanly behavior once commonly displayed by men in society. Her video, which has quickly gained traction, paints a vivid picture of a time—just over a decade ago—when acts of spontaneous generosity from men were not only expected but frequent.

She passionately recounted scenarios that used to be typical in the past, such as men walking up to women at restaurants and offering to pay for their meals, no strings attached. According to her, these gestures were never transactional or suggestive; they were simply signs of respect, admiration, and a societal norm rooted in goodwill. That generosity, she argued, has all but disappeared in today’s social climate.

Her recollections didn’t stop there. She described how it wasn’t unusual for a man at a shopping mall—perhaps a complete stranger—to offer to assist a woman by pushing her trolley, helping with her basket, or even footing the bill for her groceries. These acts, she said, reflected an era where men often took pride in being protectors and providers, even in brief public encounters.

Today, however, she laments that such interactions have become relics of the past. Instead of engaging or offering help, she observed that many men now prefer to distance themselves—standing aside or waiting passively rather than stepping forward to assist. To her, this change represents more than just a shift in behavior; it signals a deeper transformation in social values and the unwritten codes of conduct that once governed how men treated women.

Her video also recalled a time when men would slow their vehicles to offer a lift to a woman walking along the road—a practice that, though it raised questions about safety in some contexts, was once seen as a hallmark of gentlemanliness. That habit, she asserted, has now nearly vanished, replaced by indifference or suspicion. What once was interpreted as concern is now regarded with hesitation, on both ends.

Many who have watched and shared the video found themselves relating to her observations, with older generations commenting on how much the social fabric of Nigerian society has shifted in the past 10 to 15 years. Others, particularly men, have offered their own perspectives, citing changes in societal expectations, increased fear of being misunderstood, and concerns over being taken advantage of or appearing intrusive.

Her remarks have sparked a much larger discussion across digital platforms, touching on themes such as evolving gender dynamics, societal pressures, changing definitions of respect, and the impact of modern dating culture. While some viewers agreed wholeheartedly with her sentiment, others challenged her to consider the complexities of the present day—where traditional roles are increasingly being questioned and individual boundaries are more fiercely protected.

Despite the differing opinions, one fact remains clear: her video has reignited conversations about kindness, chivalry, and the way social interactions have evolved in modern Nigerian life. For some, it served as a reminder of a gentler time; for others, it prompted a reassessment of what healthy, respectful interaction should look like today.

Her reflections, though personal, have tapped into a collective sense of longing for connection and mutual care—a desire for a society where helping others isn’t seen as outdated, but as essential. As social media continues to buzz with reactions, the question remains: Are we witnessing the end of an era, or simply adjusting to a new one?