I Haven’t Shut The Door - Woman Who Has Been Married 12 Times Says She Is Still Open To Finding Love Again


Cynthia Achieng Abok has lived more than most women her age. A mother of three, currently residing in Nairobi, she has been through the emotional storms of twelve marriages. Despite the pain and disappointment each chapter brought, she still believes that love could one day arrive on her doorstep.

Originally from Kisumu, Abok’s early life was shaped by instability. Her parents' separation cast a long shadow over her childhood. Left trying to find her footing in a broken home, she faced emotional turbulence that would define her teenage years. Attempts to reconnect with either parent led to further struggles. While trying to live with her mother and her new family, she encountered emotional neglect. Life with her father was no easier. With her siblings scattered and no sense of belonging, she found herself seeking refuge in the arms of men, hoping they could offer the security and affection she lacked.

Her first marriage came before she reached adulthood. Driven by desperation, she left home at a young age, lured by the promise of stability and education. But what she found instead was a series of relationships that started with hope and ended in betrayal.

Each man she encountered made promises. They spoke of paying her school fees, giving her a fresh start, and helping her rebuild her future. Yet time after time, the reality was harshly different. Most of these men were already married. They would rent her a house, isolating her from the rest of their lives, only to grow distant and eventually chase her away when the affair lost its excitement.

“I was just a young girl who wanted to go to school and make something of herself,” she said during an interview with Citizen Digital. “But every time I thought I had found someone who truly cared, they would turn out to be another person who wanted to use me.”

Her most unusual relationship involved a 77-year-old pastor who fathered one of her children. This man, too, made promises he never intended to keep. He concealed her from his primary family, visiting only during the day. Over time, the relationship turned emotionally abusive. Eventually, when his wife discovered the secret, Abok was forced to leave.

Trying to survive, she turned to casual labor and, at one point, unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional trauma. She faced ridicule, judgment, and rejection but continued to rise, holding onto whatever little hope she could muster. Her experience, while deeply personal, is also a reflection of the broader challenges many young women in vulnerable circumstances face.

Despite the heartache and abandonment that mark her past, Abok still believes her story is not over. Love, she says, remains a door that is still slightly open.

“I’m not actively looking right now. My heart needs rest, and I need to keep healing,” she admitted. “But I believe God can still bring someone good my way. Someone who sees me, truly sees me, and stays.”

Her children are her priority today. She works hard to provide them with the stability she never had. Every sacrifice she makes is to ensure they do not walk the same path she did. Abok’s story, while filled with hardship, is also one of incredible resilience.

Many might judge her for having gone through twelve marriages, but her strength lies in her refusal to be broken. Her desire to learn, to grow, and to keep believing in something better, is a message that resonates beyond borders.

Her plea is not for sympathy but for understanding. For society to consider the roots of desperation that push young women into the hands of exploitative men. She hopes that sharing her journey can help others avoid the pitfalls she encountered.

Love may have eluded her for now, but her belief in its power remains. With time, healing, and perhaps a bit of divine timing, Cynthia Achieng Abok still holds space in her heart for that final chapter to be one of lasting love.

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