"Lack of S3xual Satisfaction Will Lead to Marital Frustration,” Says Therapist Shamseddin Giwa in Candid Advice to Couples

 

A Nigerian marriage therapist, Shamseddin Giwa, is drawing national attention following his assertion that a large percentage of marital problems stem not from communication issues or financial stress, but from a deeper, more intimate disconnect, sexual dissatisfaction. His comments, shared via a Facebook post on Sunday, have since gone viral, triggering conversations across social media, relationship forums, and marriage counseling circles.

Giwa is not new to the world of relationship guidance. Over the years, he has built a reputation for addressing marital challenges with frankness and psychological insight. This time, however, his tone was particularly unfiltered. He argued that many quarrels between spouses could be avoided or resolved entirely if couples made it a priority to ensure each other’s sexual satisfaction.

“Lack of s3xual satisfaction will lead to marital frustration. Many of the issues we are trying to resolve are rooted in s3xual frustration,” Giwa wrote. “Climax, orgasm, then see what will happen.”

These words may appear blunt, but Giwa insists they reflect a truth many married couples are either unaware of or unwilling to confront. According to him, there is too much focus on superficial compatibility while neglecting physical intimacy. He believes this imbalance contributes significantly to unresolved tension within the home.

He did not stop there. In the same post, Giwa criticized the tendency among religious or culturally conservative couples to sideline or downplay sex in marriage, especially when guided by what he termed “good behaviour” teachings. “Proper penetrative s*x is paramount in your marriage as desired by your spouse and balanced out by you, don't get it twisted,” he advised. “Leave religion and good behaviour out of this one.”

His message challenges long-standing societal norms, particularly in more conservative or faith-based communities where open conversations about sex remain taboo. For many of his readers, it struck a nerve, either in support or disapproval. While some praised his courage and honesty, others saw his comments as oversimplifying deeper emotional and psychological issues that cause marriages to fail.

Despite the mixed reactions, there’s no denying that Giwa touched on a subject many couples shy away from. Behind closed doors, numerous partners admit to struggling with mismatched libidos, unfulfilled desires, or a general lack of passion. What starts as occasional dissatisfaction can quickly spiral into resentment, withdrawal, and emotional distance.

By bringing this topic to the forefront, Giwa is encouraging married people to look at their relationships from a more holistic perspective. Emotional compatibility, shared values, and financial stability are often seen as the pillars of a strong marriage. However, he suggests that physical intimacy, specifically mutual sexual satisfaction, may be the glue that holds it all together.

Marriage counselors and therapists across Nigeria and beyond have also weighed in, with many echoing Giwa’s sentiments. Dr. Olufunke Adeoye, a licensed relationship psychologist based in Lagos, agrees that sexual frustration can act as a silent disruptor in seemingly stable relationships. “When couples do not address physical intimacy, the effects show up in unexpected ways,  irritability, lack of communication, even infidelity,” she explained.

Yet, Dr. Adeoye cautions against using sex as a one-size-fits-all solution. “Sexual satisfaction is important, but it must be addressed within the broader context of love, communication, and mutual respect. It’s not just about the act; it’s about emotional connection and vulnerability.”

Still, Giwa’s argument holds weight, particularly in societies where talking about sex remains a cultural taboo. His Facebook post, though provocative, serves as a wake-up call. Rather than sweeping sexual dissatisfaction under the rug, he urges couples to face it head-on, not as a side issue, but as a central component of a thriving marital bond.

Marriage, he suggests, should not be seen as a battlefield of unmet expectations, but as a space where both partners take responsibility for each other’s happiness, emotionally, mentally, and yes, physically.

While the conversation continues to stir both applause and criticism, one thing is clear: Shamseddin Giwa has reignited an essential dialogue that many might prefer to avoid, but few can truly ignore.