Nigerian Woman Sparks Controversy by Urging Wives to Try Other Men if Pregnancy Delays for Years

 

A Nigerian woman, Anthonia Umerah, has set social media buzzing after making a bold and unconventional suggestion to married women battling long-term infertility. In a strongly worded post that has ignited heated debate, she advised women who have tried to conceive without success for many years to consider trying to get pregnant with another man, stating that a woman’s fertile years are limited and must be used wisely.

Anthonia’s advice was posted on Facebook as a reaction to a viral confession made by another Nigerian woman, Ifeyenwa Chybe. Ifeyenwa had shared her experience of how she got pregnant for another man after a decade of being childless in her marriage. Her story revealed that after enduring years of her husband’s infidelity and constant blame for their inability to conceive, she eventually had an affair and ended up pregnant, something that never happened in her marriage despite ten years of trying.

Reacting to this confession, Anthonia wrote a blunt but unapologetic message that has been shared widely online. She said, “If you have been trying to conceive for many years, sometimes, try another preek to see if your luck can shine with another amu. Your husband may be the issue. Don’t allow him hold you back from having your own child.”

The crux of her argument lies in the biological fact that women have a more limited reproductive window compared to men. Once menopause sets in, natural conception becomes practically impossible. For Anthonia, it is unfair for women to spend their best reproductive years tied to men who might be the reason they can’t conceive, only to end up childless while those men could eventually have children with someone else later in life.

She continued, “Men cheat on their wives daily and our society considers it normal and their entitlement. If trying another amu will give you a child if you need a child, by all means, cheat and have your own child, sis.”

Her post quickly went viral, triggering a range of reactions from support to outrage. Many women praised her for saying what others only think in silence, claiming that society often turns a blind eye to the suffering of women who remain loyal in one-sided marriages. Others, however, criticized her for promoting infidelity and disregarding the sanctity of marriage vows.

Anthonia’s supporters argue that her message is not simply about cheating, but about a woman taking control of her reproductive life, especially in cases where the man refuses to take medical tests or accept that he might be the one with fertility problems. Some pointed out that many men refuse to consider the possibility that they could be infertile and instead push the blame entirely on their wives.

On the other side of the debate, critics say that encouraging extramarital affairs under any circumstance can only complicate marriages further. They argue that the solution to fertility issues lies in honest communication, medical consultations, and mutual support, rather than secret affairs and paternity surprises.

Still, the discussion has brought attention to an often overlooked issue in many African marriages. In a cultural context where women are often pressured to give birth soon after marriage, infertility can become a source of emotional and societal torment. In many cases, women suffer in silence, bearing the brunt of the blame, even when male infertility is the actual cause.

Anthonia concluded her post with a direct challenge to the patriarchal norms that often govern such matters. “Your husband will not even hesitate to try another woman to have a child if you are the issue. Men always put themselves first!” she wrote.

Whether one agrees with her or not, her statement has opened a wider conversation about marital responsibility, gender expectations, and the urgency of reproductive choices. Many now ask: Is it truly betrayal if it results in the joy of motherhood after years of disappointment? Or is it a sign that more open and progressive conversations about fertility and partnership need to happen in marriages?

The dialogue sparked by Anthonia’s post continues to ripple across social media, showing just how sensitive and complicated the subject of infertility remains in contemporary Nigerian society.